Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I'll stop the world

Funny how sometimes you cannot see something right in front your face even though you're looking very hard. For the last year, due to my job, I've undergone more training than when my dog competed in shows, been analysed, personality typed, leadership coached, you name it. A lot of money has been expended to ensure that I am a better manager, but there have been side effects. Sure I've learnt a lot, most of all that a lot this stuff is nice in theory but the practice is sometimes not so practical. I've also realised that self reflection/introspection is not a bad thing but accepting it all can be. A side effect of a lot this type of thing, you get to learn a lot about yourself on the journey. The moral, take the things that are useful to your development, acknowledge the rest and move on. Brooding helps no one least of all yourself!

One thing in front my face was, contrary to my assertion that I don't have a significant other, in fact, I do. He's been my closest friend for nearly twenty years, that's longer than most marriages, including mine. He puts up with my craziness, maybe because he is also a little nuts himself. We've gone through relationship breakups, job loss, death, health issues, some very dark times together. We've also shared some really great moments, he's usually the first person I call when I have good news to share. It goes both ways. He is the only person I know who will, let me take over his washing machine, kitchen etc and then leave me sleeping on his couch while he cleans up. We've always been there for each other. Surely we have never shared bodily fluids nor are we likely to in anything other than a platonic way but that's okay. Yes, we do fight from time to time but we get over it. We've learnt to accept each other just the way we are. Now doesn't that sound like a long term relationship?

You will never find one person who satisfies your every need, instead, different people will bring their own qualities to your life and you to theirs. It is finding that ground to acknowledge people's places in your life; you can marry someone, love them with every fibre of your being, but that does not mean you should spend every waking moment with them. As humans, in relationships, we try to own people, we get jealous when someone outside provides something we cannot, not understanding that you must trust your partner and they in turn must trust you. We also need to know when a situation does not work for us anymore and when to move on. Difficult, yes. Necessary, yes. There are many ways to love, you have to find what works for you.

If you need some help, I have lots of e-mail and phone contacts for counsellors, trainers, coaches etc.

8 comments:

GirlBlue said...

Its lovely to have that type of relationship with someone. Don't let it go, it very rare and special indeed

Coffeewallah said...

You should see what I wrote on the other side....

I do realise how precious this type of relationship is and I treasure it.

GirlBlue said...

You will never find one person who satisfies your every need, instead, different people will bring their own qualities to your life and you to theirs

this is a great argument for polygamy by the by. A woman just needs more than one husband, she does, she really does *nod nod*

Coffeewallah said...

No argument from me there.

lyricsman said...

The argument for polygamy swings both ways ladies...:)

GirlBlue said...

Fix up :>

Wuzdescene said...

gyul ... all I can say is .... keep drinkin dat caffeine ... it does wonders for your thought process ... this is a very real, sensible post!

Coffeewallah said...

Get burned, yuh learn