Home; castle or jail?

This morning it poured and I reluctantly left the house, it seemed like a good day to curl up with a book. As I locked my front door, blowing kisses to the hound, I noticed a black handbag perched at the bottom of the steps. Weird I thought. Wonder who left that there. Negotiating the steps in four inch heels is, at the best of times, something you do carefully, on a rainy morning, more so. I didn't pay much attention to the bag until I was almost upon it, only to realise that it belonged to me.

Well blow me down, how in heck did it get there! Last I looked, yesterday evening when I got home, it was sitting on a chair in my living room. Admittedly it's not a handbag that I was using, obviously. But still, it's mine. I circled it, prodded it with my toe and when it didn't explode, picked it up and headed back up the stairs. It was wet, the bits of detritus inside unrecognisable. It could only be that I'd had a night time visitor who'd fished through an open window.

Now let me tell you, that's not easy. My windows are not that close to the stairs. And I have a large, vociferous dog. How could this have happened and does this mean that not only do I have to bar every door with triple locks but do I have to close all the windows all the time, just in case some enterprising thief or worse, decides to play Spiderman and scale the walls. It's bad enough that there are burglar bars everywhere, aforementioned large dog, and the fact that you can no longer sit on the front porch or leave anything lying out accidentally.

This is a violation. I suppose you could say that I'm lucky that it wasn't worse but does it have to be? Someone pulled a bag out of the house, rifled through it and learnt things about me from what might have been in there, while I was in the house, with two sets of neighbours downstairs! Isn't that bad enough. I am oblivious? No, quite the contrary...right, guess I was being watched while the miscreant waited for lights out, well after 1:00a.m. Now how is that for creepy. Does anyone have the number for the guy with a sword for hire?