Friday, May 9, 2008

Buzzing with The Beatles

This week I re-connected with my BBF from high school who I hadn't spoken to in twenty years. I faced my fears, work and personal. I re-discovered music. It was was quite a roller coaster, added to the mix was a budding depressive episode that I managed to contain. But if this week has had it's challenges, it also showed me once again that I have some very good friends. In 1967 John Lennon and Paul McCartney wrote "I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends" for drummer Ringo Starr to sing on the St. Pepper album. I've always connected with this song, like Ringo, I'm usually the background noise who can't really sing at all and generally, overshadowed by my more colourful friends, though you might not suspect so.

What would do think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
He gets high with a little help from his friends,
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.

In the last few weeks, the universe via Slacker, Lis, Stuart, Shirley and Charmayne, is pushing me to get off my ass and write. I'm grateful to them all, so write I have. Boy has it been educational. I didn't realise so many people read this blog. Then I started getting responses to things I'd written. Friends who know my alter persona call me, it's become part of the landscape. My jazz friend called today in consternation to say he'd checked and there was nothing new. He was concerned that something had happened to me. Wow. I hadn't realised that I was writing so regularly but it seems that I am. My hopes, fears, concerns, uncertainties, great moments, failures and rants all revealed, open for the world to see. Sure I use a pseudonym but it's not that far from who I really am.


What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I'm gonna to try with a little help from my friends

I'm not afraid of being alone, actually, I'm a loner by inclination. But I think I was getting a little tired of always doing everything for and by myself. Then the other morning, Brent shared with me, I knew that I was lucky to have some really good people in my life. I know I am loved. Imti, who at the best of times is not terribly domestic, re-arranged his life so that I could do my laundry at his house and for the last twenty years, has held my hand through the good and bad times without complaint. Charmayne pushes me out of the doldrums, she reminds me how to feel alive. She has some of the best energy of anybody I know.

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

Okay, it might be nice to have that special someone in my life, but I'm not about to make the fatal mistake of accepting less just to say there is someone. It's not worth it. For too long I acted as though I had little worth when really, I have much. What do I see when I turn out the light? The Hound settling across my feet, waiting for me to fall asleep before taking up his guard position. And I know that's fine. As much as I like the song, I don't need someone to love, I have a lot of someone's to love and they all know who they are. So we'll all be singing......

Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I need someone to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love
Oh...
I get by with a little help from my friends,
I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends

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